


I want to get back to you. Everyone. But mostly you.

by raefraldarius



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route Spoilers, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Time Skip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:29:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,459
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23223301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raefraldarius/pseuds/raefraldarius
Summary: It's the decisive battle for the Blue lions, The battle of Enbarr. But seems the opposition has plans to wager a hostage if the battle doesn't turn out in their favor. Of course the hostage is Felix.
Relationships: Felix Hugo Fraldarius/Sylvain Jose Gautier
Kudos: 49





	I want to get back to you. Everyone. But mostly you.

Felix prided himself on being the most skilled fighter amongst his peers. The professor relied heavily on him and because of this, Felix was always positioned in the front lines in each of their battles. He was in fact so skilled that among Imperial soldiers, Felix had earned the nickname of “The True Boar.” He had always thought it funny how his nickname for the King of Faerghus, born out of true contempt, had caught on as fast as it did amongst the enemy.  
Felix smirked slightly to himself.

He hit the final blow on the training dummy and his features turned into a frown as he let out a shaky sigh, soon he and his classmates will set out for the decisive battle. The battle that will end it all. They will be taking Enbarr. This also means many of his friends will die. He knows this. He has tried accepting this inevitable fact as the day crept closer and closer. Now it is the evening before and he has to admit to himself that he is scared. Scared for every single one of his allies that he has grown to love deeply. He loves them so deeply that sometimes looking at them as they smile, laugh, or joke just hurts his heart. He wants to stay there forever, suspended in time, preserving their happiness. 

_I refuse to lose anyone. I will protect everyone._

He strides over to put his training sword back on the rack and leaves the training grounds to take the short walk back to his room.  
As he opens the training ground doors to the exterior of the Monastery, cold wind bites at his face. Felix quickly wraps his hands around his arms and begins to take his time sauntering to his room.

_I wonder what Sylvain is doing._

Sylvain. His bothersome, skirt-chasing, annoying, loud best friend. Felix isn’t sure why his mind always wanders to Sylvain before a battle but it does. Of course, he cares for everyone else but with Sylvain it’s different---and he’s not sure why. His mind seems to always go blank with panic if he lets his imagination wander to a scenario where Sylvain gets hurt or worse, dies. 

_Stop thinking about death. Anything, anything else. Think of anything else just not that._

He smacks his cheeks with both hands and breathes out, watching the puff of air leave his mouth and dissipate into the cold air. He never really sees Sylvain before a battle, Sylvain always just locks himself in his room the night before a mission. 

_Does he worry as much as I do?_

Felix finds himself, against his will, standing right outside Sylvain’s room. Odd because he didn’t have the initial intention to come here. But here he is. Felix gulps and lifts his hand. 

_Knock._ Only one knock will do. It is a bit weaker than he wanted but no matter. No answer.  
He knocks again, this time much harder. There is a slight stirring from inside the room but no acknowledgment or move to get up. 

“Sylvain open the fucking door.” Felix can feel his mouth form a scowl as he taps his foot impatiently. 

“Go to bed Felix. We are marching on Enbarr tomorrow,” comes a voice from the other side of the door. 

Felix continues to slam on the door, making a loud racket before Sylvain groans loudly and yanks the door open. “What?! Why are you even here?!” Sylvain sounds very exasperated. 

_Wait, why am I here?_

Felix just stands there dumbly with a blank expression. _I wanted to see you._ He pushes the thought away. 

“I--uh.” Words die on his tongue. “Never mind, I’ll go to my room.” 

_Sorry._ He wants to say but it doesn’t come out. 

He turns away and feels Sylvain grab his shoulder. “Just come in. It’s okay.” He hesitates for a moment. “Do you want to do what we... used to do?” Sylvain looks down nervously. 

_What we used to do?_ Felix thinks for a moment. Ah, right. When they were children they would sleep in the same bed, wrapped in each other’s arms the night before a particularly tragic event. Like the night before Glenn was sent out to what was to become the Tragedy of Duscur. Or when they were students and one of their first missions was to kill Sylvain’s brother, Miklan. The night before they were sent out Sylvain came to Felix’s door, tears streaming down his cheeks and Felix comforted him the only way he knew how to. By just being there and holding him.

Felix doesn’t answer and walks past Sylvain into the room, sitting down on the disheveled bed. Sylvain slowly closes the door and crosses his arms. 

“Felix. Really. Why are you here?” He asks quizzically. 

Felix can’t seem to answer, instead he shimmies himself under the covers and turns to face the wall. 

“Come here.” He barks.

Sylvain sighs heavily and follows suit, gently sliding against Felix’s back. Sylvain throws an arm over Felix and pulls him towards his chest, there they fall asleep, wordless. 

In the early hours of the morning, around 5 AM, Felix sits up and brushes his hand through Sylvain’s hair. 

“Remember our promise.” 

With that Felix stands up and walks to his room, preparing for the day ahead. 

The morning seems like a blur. Get up, report to the front gate of the Monastery, fall into line as the Professor orders the group of how their formation will be upon arrival. Of course Felix is in the front--- along with Sylvain, Ingrid, and the Boar. 

“Sylvain, I want you close to me. Be my shield as I try to close in on Edelgard.” The Professor orders, “Felix.” He pulls out a scribbled drawing. “This is the throne room. This is where she’ll be. See here?” He points to the right side. “With you leading them, I need you to clear out as many enemies as you can with Annette and Ingrid, that way you all can flank her if we don’t make it.” He points to the left. “Dimitri. You, Ashe and Dedue take the other side. Do exactly what Felix’s team is doing with you leading the charge. Mercedes will be in the back here and will be available to heal you when needed.” 

He tucks his map under his arm as they get ready for their march. “Remember to stay calm everyone. No one will die here.” With that said, they all begin their trek. 

Silence. Everyone is silent. Usually Annette doesn’t stop talking but today she seems solemn as she holds on to Mercede’s arm, Felix notices. Sylvain is looking straight ahead from atop his horse, not even bothering to ask Felix why he left last night. Ingrid is whispering with Dimitri and Dedue, probably working out the plan and making sure they are all on the same page. Ashe is silently walking and the Professor does the same. 

_I should talk to him._ Felix bites his lip. _I need to. If he---._ Felix breaks out of line and lightly jogs to the side of Sylvain’s horse. Felix looks up at Sylvain and notices Sylvain has been staring down at him, their eyes meet. Sylvain gives him a broken smile and a nod before reaching his hand to rest on Felix’s shoulder. Felix puts his own hand over his. 

“Don’t die.” Felix says this as he breaks eye contact. “You promised.” 

Sylvain gives a genuine chuckle. “You promise too, Fe.”

Felix doesn’t respond and Sylvain lets out a breath. “I promise not to die.” 

“I promise too.” 

\-------------------------------------------------------------------

They finally arrive at the gates of Enbarr and the fight to the throne room is almost laughably easy. _Though,_ Felix thinks to himself, _there has to be more._

They cut their way into the throne room and are welcomed by a barrage of enemies. Despite wanting to stay by Sylvain’s side, Felix follows orders and leads his group to the right of the room. 

Just Sylvain and the Professor. Felix bites his lip as odd-looking enemies rush towards him. _It’s okay. The Professor is strong. Sylvain isn’t completely useless. Focus._ He slashes out his sword and downs the mysterious mage in one swoop. ‘

“Who are these people?” Annette wonders out loud as her wind spell downs another enemy. 

“I’m not sure, just kill them and let’s get to Edelgard as soon as---.” Ingrid is interrupted by a huge fireball coming straight for her. She quickly dodges it by ordering her pegasus to swoop around. 

Felix’s eyes go wide. “What the fuck was that?” 

“The True Boar! Capture him.” One of the mysterious soldiers screams at his battalion. 

_Capture me?_ Felix readies his sword as an entire battalion rushes towards him, Annette and Ingrid cull the crowd but--. But wait. Annette and Ingrid seem overwhelmed.  
Annette is casting spell after spell but their numbers don’t seem to dwindle. Ingrid is stuck in a fight with one of the weird killing machines that seem to be on either side of the throne room. 

_We weren’t prepared._ Felix thinks as three soldiers charge toward him at once, more following coming from each angle. He sees Mercedes in the distance yelling something, panic in her eyes as she stares straight at Felix. 

“He needs help! They have him surrounded! There’s too many, they can’t handle it!” Mercedes is screaming at the Professor. 

“Sylvain leave me, run to Felix and the other two! Help them!” The Professor shouts over his shoulder as he is caught in a sword fight with one of the Imperial soldiers. 

Sylvain is panicked, oh so panicked. He is yelling as he bids his horse to race towards the crowd forming around Felix. He can see Felix’s face, wild with bloodlust, like an animal. Before he can reach them, four or five of the men jump on Felix from every angle. His sword wrenched out of his hands and thrown on the floor, out of reach. They are struggling to hold him in place. 

“What the fuck, stop! Stop! Stop you _fucking pigs!_ ” Felix is screaming loudly as he thrashes around under the men. They hold him down and one of them knees Felix in the cheekbone, and his ears ring loudly with pain. Another soldier stabs his dagger into Felix’s thigh in a bid to get him to stop thrashing about. No use. Felix is aware of the dagger in his thigh but that does not stop him from flailing wildly, trying to get a grip on anything. Anything to get the upper footing and turn this situation around. This time the dagger digs its way into his right side, demanding Felix’s full attention. 

Felix stops thrashing.

He groans weakly at the biting pain. His vision threatens to fade out completely, blackness slowly creeps at each corner. Blood starts to pool around him and he looks up at the masks of the mages, dressed in all black. He feels weak, the blood is coming out surprisingly fast and with it, his energy.

 _At least Sylvain is alright._

As he thinks this, one of the mages is thrown off of him and against the wall. Red hair suddenly becomes visible and Felix notices the look of pure rage on Sylvain’s features. 

“Get the fuck off of him!” He roars so loudly, the air seems to shake. Felix is too weak to stand but he does whatever he can: kicking, punching, screaming, anything to get them away. 

He can see Annette, Ingrid, and Sylvain all trapped in their own fights: defending Felix.

Somehow a single mage manages to break past the trio and kneels down next to Felix, placing a hand on his chest. “You’re coming with me.” The mage uses his magic to teleport Felix beneath the throne room, beneath his friends fighting to the death. 

_It’s dark. I can’t see. What the fuck happened?_

Suddenly white hot pain shoots across his face and he goes unconscious. 

\---------------------------------

Sylvain saw Felix disappear, he saw it but he still can’t believe it. 

“NO!” He bellows so loud, tearing down enemy after enemy. “WHERE IS HE?” He screams the question at the hordes of enemies flinging towards the group. 

“Sylvain! Calm down! Obviously this was set up!” Ingrid shouts from behind gritted teeth, stabbing her lance through yet another soldier. 

Sylvain’s wild eyes move to Ingrid, away from the corpses he dispatched. “What do you mean?” He demands, the anger still not gone from his voice. 

“Most of the enemies are on this side because Felix was here. They want Felix. I have no idea why but before they said something about capturing him.” Annette pants as she doles out spell after spell.

“That means he’s not dead.” Sylvain says this more to himself than the other two. 

“That’s right. So all we need to do is win this fight and getting Felix will be easy.” Ingrid lands her pegasus next to Sylvain, for now the enemies have dwindled. “Me and Annette got it from here, go back to the Professor and tell him what happened. Let’s win this.” Ingrid beckons to Annette and they move side by side further into the hallway. Before they disappear completely into the fray, Ingrid turns her head and offers Sylvain a weak smile as if to reassure him. 

Sylvain stares after them for a moment before hopping back on his horse and deciding to trust them. _I need to tell the Professor._

 _Felix_ is the last thing he thinks over and over as he reaches the Professor’s side. 

\---------------------------------------

Felix coughs up blood as consciousness slowly comes back to him. His eyes adjust to the darkness and he sees that he is in a cell. He tries to move but his arms are bound by a metal chain attached to the wall, above his head. He’s sitting in an upright position, back against the dirty wall and his feet are simply bound together by an iron contraption. His wounds are wrapped crudely in bandages but not healed, instead they slowly seep blood---marring their white surfaces with red.  
Felix shuts his eyes into tight lines, trying to will the beating in his head to cease. 

“No.” He groans, his voice is gruff. “No, no, no.” Frustrated tears prick at his eyes and his screams become louder. “NO! NO! LET ME OUT OF HERE YOU FUCKING PIGS!”

_They’re up there. Fighting for their lives. I need to get back to them. I need to protect them. Sylvain, Sylvain, I’m sorry. Sylvain._

His screams turn into painful noises as his wild thrashing has only exasperated his wounds.

Felix is interrupted by footsteps approaching. 

He goes quiet and soon his situation becomes very much apparent to him. He’s captured, heavily wounded, and weaponless. At the complete mercy of whoever is coming towards him. 

_Why me?_ He thinks before he is face to face with a hooded figure.  
The figure kneels down and cups Felix’s chin, moving his head to the side to inspect the long bruise formed on Felix’s cheekbone. 

“Pretty. Despite the bruises I suppose.” The figure sighs and lets go of Felix’s chin. 

“Why?” Felix croaks out, his entire body screaming in pain. 

“Why?” The figure chuckles. “Why not? You’re obviously a valuable hostage.” 

_Hostage. Okay. That’s what this is. Maybe I can work with this._

“If this fight goes sour, we can use you as leverage. If it turns out in our favor, we’ll just kill you. Win, win.” The figure chuckles and lets down their hood, revealing dark green hair. 

_Linhardt._ “Linhardt. I remember you.” Felix’s eyes widen. Though he never much interacted with Linhardt when they were at the academy, he remembers having respect for him for how he always just kept to himself. Now here he is. Holding Felix captive. 

Linhardt chuckles. “Yeah. It’s been a while. Sorry about this.” He sighs slightly again before yawning. 

“Can you heal me?” Felix pleads as he looks up at Linhardt, his wounds making him weaker and dizzier by the second. 

“No. Sorry Felix. I’ve actually been ordered to give you some more wounds. Need you looking pretty bad if we are going to leverage you.” He yawns again. “Though Edelgard knows that I hate blood.” He looks down at Felix and frowns. “And it's not like you can fight back, so that makes it even harder.” 

Linhardt clicks his tongue and flicks his gaze away from Felix before sending Cutting Gale at Felix’s chest. 

Linhardt had dialed back his strength slightly but that made no difference to Felix. When the spell hits him, Felix could feel his ribs cracking. 

He gasps and coughs uncontrollably, letting out a strangled scream. “Linhardt, s-stop, you fu-fucking bastard.” 

Linhardt looks back down as Felix struggles against his restraints, pleading and gasping.

“This would be way easier for me if you’d just comply, Felix.” He sighs deeply once more. “The struggling and screaming only makes it more painful..” 

“N-no.” His words come out jumbled and in between gasps. “Ha-have to, have to fight.” Felix struggles against his restraints again. “Syl---.” He’s hit with another round of Cutting Gale, this time to his lower stomach. Felix looks down as a long strip of blood rips horizontally across his white shirt. 

I may die. 

Felix lifts his head up to meet Linhardt’s eyes and Linhardt lets out a deep sigh, going to send another spell before Felix screams, "wait!"

"Don't. I'm already heavily w-wounded. You'll kill me." His features turn into a scowl.

“Come on don’t look at me like that. This is war. I have a duty.”

“A duty.” Felix almost laughs at this, spitting blood in the process. “A du-duty for dumb ideals.” He groans in pain as he forces each word out.

“I’m going to leave you for now...you're right. You're already wounded enough...” Linhardt says a bit quieter. “Battle should be ending soon, I have to check on everyone.” He gulps before looking down. “To see if she did it.” 

Felix hangs his head down, not acknowledging Linhardt and listens to him walk away.  
Blood continues to trickle out of the newly formed wound. The older wounds have stopped bleeding as much, but they still burn with pain if Felix moves any part of his body. 

_I’m so worthless. They’re dead. They’re dead. They’re dead because I wasn’t there._

Hours go by. Felix falls in and out of consciousness, his mind slowly becoming more and more delirious as he loses blood.  
He tries again uselessly to pull at the restraints but he's too weak. He's going to die alone. 

_Footsteps. Footsteps again. He’s back. Oh Goddess he’s back to kill me._

“FELIX!”

“No please no more.” Felix manages to squeak out. “I’m already going to die you bastard.” 

“Felix!” The cell door is smashed with boar-like strength and Felix looks up to see two figures. 

Sylvain’s eyes go wide at the view in front of him. A broken Felix, uselessly hanging from the wall.

Sylvain rushes in front of Dimitri to Felix’s side, and pulls him into a hug. Felix screams with the movement and panic rises once more in his chest. Sylvain pulls away to see that his hands are now covered in blood. His eyes widen and he isn’t sure what to do.

“Felix? What happened?” There is urgency in Sylvain’s voice.

“Don’t hurt me again please. I need to get back to him.” Felix mumbles out, eyes half closed. 

“Felix?” He searches Felix’s face for a sign of lucidity. “It’s me Sylvain. And Dimitri. We won. Edelgard is dead. We’re getting you out of here.”

Felix doesn’t respond and continues staring ahead, almost like he is anticipating for someone to come in and hurt him again. 

His eyes close again as he loses consciousness. 

“Goddess Felix.” Dimitri strides in the room and tears the restraints on Felix’s arms apart. He does the same with the leg restraints, though, it does take a bit longer because he doesn’t want to injure Felix any further. “I’m sorry.” Dimitri looks down at Felix with pity. 

“It’s okay. Let’s just get him out of here.” Sylvain scoops up Felix’s limp form by sliding an arm underneath his legs and the other supporting his back. 

“Careful. We don’t know how many wounds he has. Too much movement could hurt him worse. We need to get him to Mercedes.” Dimitri scolds Sylvain. 

Sylvain looks down at Felix’s unconscious body and tears form in his eyes, eventually falling on Felix’s cheek as they walk up and out of the palace. 

\---------------------------------------

Pain. So much pain. Not only physical but emotional as well. If this is death, Felix is beyond pissed, frustrated, and in a deep melancholy. He couldn’t protect Sylvain or anyone for that matter. All the training, all the hours spent studying his sword technique, learning from the Professor has amounted to nothing. Everyone is dead and Felix wasn’t there.

_I wasn’t there._

_And that fucking bastard Linhardt. Talks about how this isn’t easy for him yet he cuts through my flesh without blinking._

_I just want to wrap my arms around him again. Sleeping side by side felt so good. If only I knew it would be our last time. I would have--- maybe I could---_

Felix breathes in deeply and his eyes nearly bug out of his head as Mercedes and a few other mages lean over him, sweat dripping down their foreheads. He can hear screaming behind them, people running around them. _Are they...on the ground?_

 _“Felix.”_  
_“Felix”_  
“Felix!” 

“Felix can you hear me?” Mercedes is pleading at Felix’s awestruck expression. 

Sylvain shoves a few of the mages to the side and grabs Felix’s shoulders with both hands.  
“Felix! Talk to me. Say something!” 

Tears well up in Felix’s eyes and stream down his cheeks and all he is able to say is, “fuck,” before falling back down into unconsciousness. 

“God dammit!” Sylvain yells in frustration. “Mercie please. Please don’t let him die.” 

“He won’t die, Sylvain. He won’t die.” There is panic in Mercede's voice as she continues her spell over Felix’s torso, trying her best to mend the worst of the damage. 

“Felix please wake up.” Sylvain is crying now, holding Felix’s hand. 

_Goddess this blackness is overwhelming. A void. Nothing. I’m scared._

Felix rarely admits to himself weakness, let alone being afraid. But it’s true. He doesn’t want to die now that he knows Sylvain is alive. 

_He’s alive._ Felix was ready to die if Sylvain was dead. It was their promise. He never goes back on his promise. But now that the bastard is alive, there is no way he’s going down. 

Felix gasps in air once more and coughs, blood spewing the faces of those around him. Mercedes rubs the back of her hand across her cheek and her sigh with relief turns into giggles.

“I did it. I did it!” She leans down to hug Felix gently.

Sylvain just stares at Felix with awe, his eyes half open, looking weaker than he has ever looked before. 

“Sylvain. I need you to carry him to one of the infirmary beds. He’s still in a real rough way right now. I only really mended the internal bleeding and anything immediately life threatening but he still has open wounds and a lot of blood loss. So you need to be gentle.”

Sylvain nods and looks down at Felix.

“Hey Fe. I’m gonna pick you up now okay?” He picks him up in the same way he did when he carried Felix out of that cell. All Felix is able to do is weakly comply as he is hoisted up, leaning his head into Sylvain’s chest. 

Sylvain gently places him on the bed and with equal amounts of care, tucks Felix in snugly. 

Felix stares up at him and weakly tries to lift his arm to Sylvain’s cheek but it’s useless, he can barely move without pain. Sylvain grabs Felix’s hand and gently places it back by his side before leaning down and pressing his lips to Felix’s forehead. 

“Don’t move Fe. You’re really hurt.” 

“Mm not.” Felix croaks out. “Gotta save mm.” His head flops to the side. 

“Felix, Goddess, if only I was there sooner.” Sylvain grabs onto Felix’s hand and squeezes it tightly. “I was ready to off myself if you were dead.” He says solemnly before chucking to himself. Sylvain grabs a chair and places it next to Felix’s bed, sitting there for however long it takes. 

_Don’t kill yourself for my sake._

Felix screams in his mind but can’t seem to say the words out loud, his mouth won’t allow it. 

Hours pass by. Days. Sylvain stands up from his chair only to get meals for himself or use the bathroom. Ingrid shuffles in from time to time to caress Felix’s face or to hug him but Sylvain is mainly the one watching him. Mercedes would come in bi-daily to give Felix a round of healing magic but she had others to attend to. Felix was stable enough that he didn’t need her full attention any longer. 

“Mmm.” Felix groans and squints his eyes. “Fuck.” 

“Felix?” Sylvain’s eyes shoot open when he hears the pathetic groan. “Talk to me Fe.” 

“Don’t….don’t fuc-fucking kill yourself.” Felix mumbles, eyes half open.

“What?” Sylvain looks at him incredulously.

“Don’t fucking k-kill yourself.” Felix almost shouts. 

“Why would I do that?” Sylvain’s eyes are wide, looking down at Felix’s weak form.

“I heard you s-say it.” Felix groans, tears prick at the corner of his eyes. Half from pain and half from frustration. _It’s mainly the pain._ He thinks. 

Sylvain goes quiet for a moment, remembering the sentiment he shared with the unconscious Felix days before. 

“I won’t.” He lies so easily it's almost laughable. 

“Sylvain.” Felix wrenches his eyes open fully and reaches weakly to grab the other man’s hand. “If you die, everything I want to protect will die w-with you.” 

Felix can read Sylvain instantly. He knows, he knows that the idiot will commit suicide the moment Felix takes his last breath. _But why?_

Felix is staring into Sylvain’s eyes now with burning intensity. “You are so fucking dumb.” 

“Felix, if you die I die.” Sylvain says plainly and with a rather charming fake smile. “We promised.” 

“It’s not--” He clenches his jaw. “That’s not the f-fucking point, Sylvain.” 

Sylvain leans over on to Felix and gently pulls him into a hug and speaks with his lips against Felix’s neck. “Can we talk about this later? Maybe when you can talk more than a few sentences at a time?” He desperately wants to end the conversation but seeing the determination on Felix’s face to continue, his smile turns to a frown. 

“Fine.” Felix is too weak to argue, he needs food, water, anything to gain back his strength. “Get me food.” He demands but it comes out very weak and shaky sounding. 

Sylvain gets up wordlessly and retrieves a bowl of stew he had set aside Felix’s bed. He had brought a new bowl each day, ready to feed Felix when he woke up. Sylvain gently holds the bowl on Felix’s chest and raises a spoonful of stew to his mouth. 

Felix looks at him quizzically. “I can…” He trails off as he notices his arms are too weak to raise all the way, sighing heavily and opening his mouth hesitantly. 

“Whewwwwww.” Sylvain makes this noise as he puts each spoonful into Felix’s mouth. 

“Please for the love of---love of God--.” Felix chokes out. 

They are interrupted as Ingrid walks in, ecstatic to see Felix fully awake. 

“Felix!” She runs over and pulls him gently into a warm hug. Felix loves being in Ingrid’s arms, it feels safe and warm almost motherly. He’s never felt a mother’s embrace but Ingrid is damn close he thinks.  
He allows her to stay as long as she wants but it isn’t without giving her at least one annoyed grunt.

“I am so happy you’re okay.” Tears prick at Ingrid’s eyes and she buries her face in Felix’s chest, a smile crossing her face as she feels the slow up and down of Felix’s breathing. 

“I’m happy…you...are...too.” Felix can barely form sentences still, he grunts in frustration and weakly raises his hands to lightly wrap around Ingrid. 

“Alright, alright, love birds please. I need to give him the rest of this stew.” Sylvain winks and it is met with a hard slap from Ingrid on the arm. 

Felix looks up at Sylvain again and sighs deeply, _of course he’s clueless as always._  
Sylvain finishes feeding Felix the rest of the stew and soon after Ingrid retires to her room as it is getting pretty late. 

“Good night boys….Felix again, I’m so glad you’re okay.” She smiles before turning and walking out the door. 

“Alright Felix. I guess I’ll go to my room too since you’re...conscious now.” Sylvain shuffles uncomfortably. 

Without thinking, Felix shoots out his arm to grab onto the back of Sylvain’s shirt as he turns away. 

“Stay.” He says quietly, looking down to dodge his eyes. 

Sylvain looks at him with surprise. “I didn’t take you for the clingy type.” He smirks but gently places his hand over Felix’s and sits back down next to him. 

“Abo--about killing yourself.” Felix chokes out again. 

“Goddess Felix, why are you so caught up on this?” Sylvain says while throwing up his arms.

“Don’t..” Felix has an expression on his face that Sylvain has never seen before and it just about breaks his heart. Felix is looking at him with desperation. He’s not sure what to make out of this. Of course he will die if Felix dies, it's only natural. He can’t live without the other man. Sylvain isn’t too sure why his chest tightens and he can’t breathe at the thought of Felix dying, it just does. Even when he saw Felix’s limp form in that cell, it was like every thought was knocked out of his head and he was punched in the gut. Felix, his beautiful hair was caked with blood. His slender arms were bloody and hanging above his head. His slender body was contorted and gashes, red with blood stained against pale skin. He can’t see that again. _I’d rather die._

“Felix.” He begins. “I would rather die than live on with you gone.” He gulps as he sees Felix’s eyebrows furrow.

“But...why?” Felix is completely confused, sure he would die for Sylvain a million times over but he had no idea Sylvain would do the same. He was under the impression that this love was one-sided. 

“I feel like you are all I have.” Sylvain bites his lip. That’s not true. He has Ingrid and the Professor, and the rest of the Blue Lions. So why is he so desperate when it comes to Felix? Realization suddenly dawns on Sylvain’s face. “It’s because I think I love you.” 

Felix snorts and immediately cringes from pain. “Shut up dumbass.” He always does this, makes Felix care deeply and gives him false hope, just to have a one night stand with some girl from town. 

“No Felix really. I love you. I do. You’re the one constant thing in my life and for some reason I didn’t realize how much I desperately care about you until I thought you were dead.” He admits more to himself than to Felix. 

“...I think I might, m-maybe, so-sorta love you t-too.” Felix says after some time, not meeting Sylvain’s eyes. He doesn’t think he loves Sylvain, he knows. He’s always known, it just never came up because he just assumed Sylvain didn’t feel the same. Now faced with this, Sylvain confessing to him right here and now, he isn’t sure what to do. Felix raises his head awkwardly to give Sylvain an unsure smile. 

Sylvain pulls Felix into a small kiss and it feels... _like home._ Like he was always meant to be here, by Sylvain’s side and kissing him as passionately as he is.

Felix is the first to pull away. “We can’t...can we?” He has hope in his voice. “Ingrid, the Professor, the Boar…” He trails off. 

“I don’t care Felix. I’m past caring what anyone thinks of me. You’re beautiful and I want to stay by your side. Until death. But I promise not to do anything if you...go first.” He looks at Felix meaningfully. 

“Alright. Let’s...be together.” Felix’s face goes red, a stark contrast to his cool skin. “But don’t tell anyone until I...heal.” 

When Sylvain smiled it was probably the first genuine smile he had in a very long time.

"It's a promise, a second one."

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. :)
> 
> EDIT: just made a twitter lol it's @fraldarius_rae if anyone would like to follow!


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